Hello, dears! I was so sad that I missed you, Amanda, and I'm sorry that I missed you too, Sarah! It was a whirlwind little weekend, completely overwhelming, and I just realized how displaced I feel. Cleveland didn't quite feel like home, and Chicago certainly doesn't come close either. Its silly to grow up. I had about two hours and a car while I was home and squooshed in the West Side Market, Rocky River park, Bela Dubby, and the Market Avenue wine bar into that space, and I had the peculiar feeling that I was just haunting everything. I didn't like it.
The apartment has been bustling this week, we have had four visitors coming and going, two of them will be here til Wednesday. I could tell that I was starting to get twitchy due to lack of alone time, so I have sent everyone off and have escaped to the coffee shop for a little while. I just fell in love with boy who served me, and the other boy recognized me from my shop. I love this place. I have to get back soon. This is a picture from Annie's recent visit, we all noticed that we were representing four distinct styles, ala Spice Girls. We didn't realize that Annie's camera timer was going to crow like a rooster at us when it went off. Love!

just a note... not a novel

Hello Darlings!

Sorry all that I have to offer today is a small note. Time is precious, so I am limited on my time to write novel blogs. Perhaps another day.

I am sorry that I missed you- Em-on your travels back to the homeland last week. Though I did appreciate the relayed hug from your mama.

Sarah.... where were you ?? I thought you knew I was coming to C-town this weekend?

Karyn- Always a pleasure to see you!

I miss you guys so much! What's new in your worlds? What succulence?
-A

Oh dearss...I can't believe Em was in town and i didn't see her. (sigh) She was going to try to get a car and come over to my family's shindig...then she had a party to go to that night....ya know I coulda been your hot date;) Well, I woulda come and got ya if I knew I woulda missed out on seeing you altogether. :( I'm glad you got to see your family though! I'm sure it was a great suprise for them...but as for those unimportant people at the birthday party...boo! ;) Hope your ride home was smooth on the bus.

Okay so ladies...here are some scriptures that a friend was sharing with me after we chatted about our self esteem in God and how He wants us to view ourselves as His children....I am gonna post them up near my bed for reminders and healing....

John 15:10-15 Notice the "If's" ...

Luke 10:19

Romans 8

Ephesians 6:10-19

Phillipians 4:4-19

1 John 4:4-19

Enjoy! Much love!!

SHALOM!!!!!!!

The Eye of God

That sounds wonderful Em. I love when we are spontaneously transported to what seems like another world but was there all along....

I have been doing pretty well, I must say. I met a wonderful new friend. Her name is Jess. She lives in Shaker Hts, works downtown as a receptionist in an accounting firm. She is 28... She is courageous, strong, and positive (though faced with such adversity)She has O.I. Its short for "osteogenemesis imperfecta" (sp?) -brittle bone disease. I instant messaged her about 2 weeks ago on myspace. We met up 3 days later:) She is very independent. She is around 3 ft. tall. Big beautiful brown eyes, and long brown hair. Lives alone with 2 cats. Lucy and Gracie. She has a fast wheelchair that gets her on and off the RTA bus anywhere she wants. Last night we went to the Cleveland Art Museum and then had dinner and drinks on Coventry. God is blessing us both with eachothers friendship:) :)

Then of course there is the story about the Christians dressed up like Clowns, the communists, Fox 8 news and myself last Sunday as I went downtown to help the homeless....good times. ;)

Faith and doubt go hand in hand, they are complementaries. One who never doubts will never truly believe. -Hermann Hesse (1877-1962) Reflections, 291

Here is something I was reading this evening. I am interested in learning more about biblical archeological finds....read on.

A shift to unbelief
For many centuries people simply assumed that everything in the Bible was true. But then, from the late 1600s through the 1800s, a series of scientific discoveries came to light that many assumed contradicted the Bible...
It wasn't long before many intellectuals, particularly those teaching in European universities, began to "deconstruct" the Bible. They soon concluded that, among other things, the books of the Bible couldn't have been written by their reputed authors—and, for that matter, the Bible couldn't have been written until hundreds of years after their lifetimes. All in all, they decided, the Bible's stories and characters were simply a collection of myths and legends pieced together by writers many centuries after they supposedly happened.
For them the Bible was only a collection of ancient fables no different from the timeworn myths of any other ancient tribal history. Sadly, their thinking not only persists to our day but permeates the curricula of many universities. Students are saturated with these ideas by professors who aggressively promote an anti-Bible bias. That bias now pervades the mass media and most of the scientific community.
Richard Dawkins, professor of zoology at Oxford University, is an aggressive proponent of evolution whose contemptuous view of the biblical creation account is typical of those who dismiss the Bible as being the inspired truth of God.
"Nearly all peoples have developed their own creation myth," he writes, "and the Genesis story is just the one that happened to have been adopted by one particular tribe of Middle Eastern herders. It has no more special status than the belief of a particular West African tribe that the world was created from the excrement of ants" (The Blind Watchmaker: Why the Evidence of Evolution Reveals a Universe Without Design, 1986, p. 316).
Critics formulate their own myths
So which is it? Is the Bible the revelation of man's Creator, as it claims to be? Is it an accurate history of ancient peoples—men and women who lived long ago whose stories were recorded for us—or is it a patchwork collection of fables?
Critics of the Bible have long ridiculed its value as a historical document. For decades many vehemently argued that the Hebrew Scriptures couldn't be what they claimed to be since, according to these critics, the art of writing dated back only to about 1000 B.C.—around the time of Israel's King David.
Anything earlier than a few centuries B.C., they argued, was unreliable oral tradition at best and wildly exaggerated mythmaking at worst. Thus they could safely dismiss the entire Old Testament as any sort of reliable historical document. The events of Genesis, the Exodus from Egypt, King David and his exploits, stories of armies and empires, the kings of Israel and Judah and so much more—all, they said, were nothing but fable.
Although critics of the Bible still abound, fewer and fewer are willing to make the same arguments on those same grounds. Why? The evidence grows daily that the modern-day mythmakers were wrong—spectacularly wrong.
Empires emerge from the sands of time
Rather than accept the Bible's witness as true until proven wrong, critics took the position that the Bible is untrue until proven otherwise—a way of thinking that, regrettably, permeates the minds of many scholars and thinkers to this day. But is their bias justified?
Evidence for the authenticity and accuracy of the Bible began to surface virtually the instant archaeologists started to scratch the surface of the biblical lands in the mid-1800s...
One of the earliest of these scientific explorers was the American Edward Robinson. He identified the location or ruins of literally hundreds of biblical towns and cities by a remarkably simple method: He simply talked to the Arab inhabitants, who had preserved the traditional names of the locations in their own tongue for centuries! Subsequent excavations at many of these sites have proven they were correct; the names were indeed passed on accurately over many generations.
Shortly after Robinson's first forays into the Holy Land, English, German and French excavators began to explore ruins in what is today Iraq. Their finds were staggering. They uncovered not only the great cities of the Assyrian and Babylonian empires mentioned in the Bible, but palaces and monuments of the very kings recorded in the Scriptures. Some even contained accounts of military campaigns that matched the Bible's, as well as carvings depicting the actual battles. (See "The Mighty Assyrian Empire Emerges From the Dust," below.)
A lost people emerges
Another major shock to those who maintained that the Bible was myth was the 1876 discovery of proof of an entire empire that had been lost to history. Though they are mentioned 47 times in the Bible, many scholars had come to regard the Hittites as simply a fable.
However, the discovery of inscribed clay tablets at a Turkish site led to an excavation that uncovered a fortified citadel, five temples, enormous stone sculptures and a room containing more than 10,000 tablets.
Says archaeologist and author Randall Price: "Once they were finally deciphered it was announced to the world that the Hittites had been found! [The site] had in fact been the ancient capital of the Hittite empire . . . The rediscovery of this lost people, one of the most outstanding achievements in Near Eastern archaeology, now serves as a caution to those who doubt the historicity of particular biblical accounts" (The Stones Cry Out, 1997, p. 83).
By no means are these the only people and empires mentioned in the Bible whose existence has since been proved by the archaeologist's spade. As more sites have been explored, many more peoples and even specific individuals recorded in the Scriptures have been verified as real.
Proof that biblical figures were real
As recently as a decade ago, some argued that Israel's most famous king, David, was but a myth. The record of the Bible wasn't good enough, they insisted; proof of his existence must be found elsewhere.
In 1993 that proof emerged when Israeli archaeologists discovered an inscription that referred to the royal dynasty David founded. Recorded on a monument some 150 years after David's death, the inscription commemorates the victory of the king of Damascus over the forces of Israel and their king, who was "of the house [dynasty] of David" (see "An Ancient Inscription Proves David Was Real," page 5).
Over the years dozens of artifacts and inscriptions bearing the names of individuals mentioned in the Bible have been uncovered. In 1982 a cache of 51 ancient baked-clay seals that were used to bind papyrus or parchment scrolls was uncovered in a Jerusalem excavation. One bore the impression of the seal of "Gemaryahu [Gemariah] the son of Shaphan." This same "Gemariah, the son of Shaphan," was a scribe in the court of Judah's king Jehoiakim as mentioned in Jeremiah 36:10-12, 25-26.
In 1975 another hoard of seals emerged, apparently uncovered in unauthorized digging in Jerusalem. One bore the name of Ishmael, the man who assassinated Gedaliah, the governor appointed by the Babylonians after they destroyed Jerusalem (2 Kings 25:25).
Even more surprising, another seal bore the name "Berekhyahu [Baruch] son of Neriyahu [Neriah] the scribe." This man was none other than "Baruch the scribe," trusted friend, confidant and scribe of Jeremiah the prophet (Jeremiah 36:4-32; 43:1-6; 45:1-2).
As if that were not astounding enough, another seal in a private collection in England was found to bear not only Baruch's name but a fingerprint along one edge—apparently Baruch's own fingerprint from when he impressed his seal into the soft clay some 2,600 years ago!
These are only a few of the finds that prove specific people mentioned in the Bible—many only in an incidental way—were indeed real and lived at the exact time and in the exact location in which the Bible places them. A complete list of such finds would fill many pages of this magazine.
Other finds foil critics' claims
What about the critics' assertion that the Bible couldn't have been written when it claimed to be because the ancient Hebrews didn't know how to write at that time? This assumption was demolished in 1979 when, in the course of excavating a tomb in Jerusalem from the seventh century B.C., archaeologists discovered two tiny gray cylinders.
The objects turned out to be silver foil amulets covered with delicately etched Hebrew characters. When deciphered they were found to contain most of the words of the blessing recorded in Numbers 6:24-26. This remarkable find proved that not only did the ancient Hebrews know how to write centuries earlier than critics said they did, but one of the oldest portions of the Bible was obviously in use at a time well before the critics maintained it had been written!

Emily, hahahaha remember when you were in my way and wouldnt let me go to the bathroom and I got attacked by the wall !?!?!?! xoxox

Amanda, I really really miss you! !!! xoxox

Karyn, I hope to see you tomorrow at the party!

Love you each. Sweet dreams. Proverbs 3:24

Just so that I don't forget.

I went to a tiny bowling alley and met up with some friends [Anna had talked me into going out at 11 at night], and when we were finally kicked out, we wandered right into one of the loveliest snow storms I've ever seen. Everything was quiet and sparkling and still. We somehow found ourselves in a tiny diner, still open, along the way, and it felt like we had simply slipped into a different decade; Chuck Berry on the jukebox, counter-only seating, and a cook in a paper hat, flipping and frying away. We warmed ourselves with cups of coffee that materialized out of nowhere and piles of french fries and marched back out into the storm. At a nearby apartment, we played games and shared bottles of wine and talked until I realized that the sky was already brightening. I don't mind life sometimes, I really don't.

Clowns,Communists,Homeless,Fox 8 and myself...

Emily! I am so glad to see you went to Las Vegas and had a great time:) Where are you stashing all that money you won???

Hmm, lets see, well, I'm hanging out with the organization "food not bombs" this winter. This Sunday will be my 3 week. I am very casually collecting warm clothing, socks,gloves, blankets etc from people mainly at church. They use to meet right in front of Public Square but now we meet somewhat near the Fountain of Life. A lot of the people, mainly men, that come to eat what FNB's has brought just want a bite to eat, something warm, and I have found an ear to listen. My first night there (in 4 years) I spoke with a man that lives in a group home and now has a job there as well. He got out of prison in June (he was in for 17 yrs) He told me the whole story of how he became homeless turned to crime and quickly found himself in prison. He also told me that while he was in prison, Joyce Myers (a Christian Author and Motivational speaker-who has been thru much!) came to his prison. He read her book "Battlefield of the Mind" He said it changed his life. He began writing her and he received more of her books, free of course. She began writing him and vice versa....long story short. He says his heart has changed. He has come a long way, from what he tells me. We talked about everything. Anything from faith to doubt to hard and desperate times and just everyday normal stuff. Now don't get me wrong. I am not wearing rose colored glasses. I go there, I help, but I won't be naive. I hope that what they are telling me is the truth for their sake, but I won't put myself in a compromising situation based on what they have told me.....
okay so blah blah blah....I wrote that 2weeks ago. But last Sunday...oh last Sunday was a very rainy day. Dark and wet. It rained ALL day. The week prior to that I had to go back home 15 minutes after I arrived because it rained. We have no shelter where we give out food/clothes to the poor. One of the communists made a joke that I must not have said my prayers, so THIS WEEK...I thought, he has a point there. I didnt want to bow out just because of the rain, again. On the way there, though it had rained ALL day. Drizzling,raining, you name it. I began talking to God. I said I know that Cleveland is just a dot in the universe but please stop the rain here for just long enough so we can help these people.I continued pleading with Him. As I pulled up the sky cleared and the rain disappeared for the first time that day. I pulled up to the usual spot and thought I was losing it! I saw AT LEAST 2o clowns getting out of cars. They set up tables, and got out lots of food and began feeding whomever came along. I thought the communists (food not bombs) either lost their minds or I was dillusional. Turns out as I have heard, the city has been cracking down on the homeless and those that try to help them. (funny huh?) Now people need a permit to serve the homeless downtown. So these Christians dressed up like clowns got one!!!!! Then comes along Fox8, which by the way, we were on the news, but I was wearing all black and drowned out by the clowns. One of the clowns said. " It stopped raining THE SECOND we got here." I said "I know!!!" She said "It's because Santa came" (they brought a Santa;) I said, " I don't know I said some prayers on the way over here" I put out my hands as to simulate a scale..."Jesus......Santa......I don't knowwww" Us both knowing who wins that one. Meanwhile, I was passing out warm socks from my backpack and tissue packets for runny noses...Then food not bombs comes too. We all have some pizza,soup and cake so graciously brought by the clowns and then the communists and I follow the caravan of clowns to a shelter on East 21st. The same shelter that the man I met the week before lives in. A man came up to me and showed me how soaked his coat was. He asked if I had anything. Perfect. I had just found my huge insulated furry,leather coat that I use to wear in my basement and had it in my car to give out. He was so appreciative and gave me a big hug...which is different from some, when I ask, "would you like some warm socks?" and they say," what color?" lmao
So I loaded all my clothes into a van so the clowns could unload it at the back of the shelter. I got a clowns contact info and entered the name Bo Jangles in my cell phone...waved goodbye to all the clowns and the communists...and swiftly walked to my car counting the seconds till I was safe in my locked car...The smile on my face on the way home must have been priceless....

p.s by the way, I'm not makin this stuff up...I spent Sunday nite with REAL CLOWNS http://www.bojangleshome.biz/

Happy December, everyone! Its snowing beautifully outside and I think I might embark on a snow walk. But first, I was going through my phone and realized that it is filled with ridiculous texts, I can't even remember what half of them mean anymore. Enjoy! Do you have favorites, too?

Perfect, we can work out the details later. And learn Portuguese.
They've been playing Beirut! I can't believe my phone knew how to spell that!
No one messes with tall girls.
It was a brain dissolving amoeba not anemone, and I am really disappointed.
Little Miss Sunshine and Christmas Ale. Its like i've died and gone to Cleveland!
I just watched a messenger boy bike past with a pinata papoosed to his back.
I'm shaking. I got onto the stage.
Miss you too. Maybe it'll help if I put this cowboy hat back on.
Let's open a bookstore and then move to brazil.
I just saw a picture of Audrey Hepburn and thought it was you.
Write us an email about what books you like and Africa
A cute girl on a bike nearly swerved into traffic trying to catch my eye, to which adam replied, "you're like a lesbian loadstone."
There are a couple of groundhogs romping outside my window. What a wonderful day to be young, in love, and munching grass on a hillside.
Embarking on a pudding quest.
Thwump! munch, munch, munch [that's the sound of me eating dinosaur mac and cheese with a spork]
I just danced the night away with a lumberjack named brian.
I punched the air today and cut my thumb.
Have a good night and fairy-hamster dreams!
Today mystery magee exhanged his sombrero for a white zoot suit.
Just saw a blues show in downtown Cleveland, i half expected to see you in a posh dress at the bar.

Anything that is not growing,

is dead...

YOU'RE SO MONEY

So I definitely spent Thanksgiving in Las Vegas. My family was going down to Atlanta to be with the rest of the Grahams but I assumed that my work schedule wouldn't permit a trip of any kind. However, things got mixed up and I ended up with 4 days off, and I pouted about missing Thanksgiving until David suggested that we really needed to have an adventure, so a couple cheap tickets later, we were on our way to Nevada. What a ridiculous place. It feels like something out of a dream. I got lost in the hotel [we were right on the strip in the MGM Grand] and managed to visit Venice, Paris, Egypt, Rome, and NYC within a few blocks of eachother. My favorite moment was realizing that I was having a hard time ordering lunch in "Venice" because the waiter knew only Spanish. It was hard to wrap my mind around. More pictures up at http://www.flickr.com/photos/42479117@N00 if you like that sort of thing.
I loved the call from John, Sarah, it made me laugh so hard. Amanda, let's hear some New Orleans stories pleeeease. And Karyn, goodness, I promise to call soon.

I am so thankful for so many things....

11/22/07
Last night with John (the 93, almost 94 yr old) was awesome. I brought him honey baked turkey, homemade mashed potatoes,stuffing,pie and wine. Do ya know what he went out and bought just because I was coming? Canadian Mist and Gingerale...LOL...awww! We ate dinner together and then I fixed him a plate of food for today (thanksgiving) since he wont be having company until Friday. He speaks of how close to death he is and I gave him a pep talk about being "young at heart" and enjoying every moment he has:). We spoke about so many different things. He is such a devout Catholic, he told me about different saints that he prays to and all his loved ones that he prays for. We are able to speak about faith openly (to a certain extent of course) and I will be so happy when his eyes are opened. It won't be long...:)

We had a huge Thanksgiving dinner here! Delicious!!! My Aunt and Uncle, Sarah and David,Del Thomas and Vee (my cousin and his wife) Sarah's parents, Isaac, Gabriel and Lola:) I am still stuffed! Isaac had his first bite of turkey:)


and here are my thoughts for this evening..
There are people in this world that seem to have nothing to be thankful for. People are negatively affected by their own doing,someone elses doing or the fact that this is an imperfect world ever since choices were made in the Garden of Eden.There have been times in my life where I felt angry for some of the things I experienced or had go through...things that seemed unfair, darkness that felt as if you should be able to just wake up and it would be gone,but...

I believe that everything will come full circle eventually. Whether in this life or the next. I believe in God. I believe that Jesus died for my sins and I am made anew everytime I sincerely go to Him and ask for forgiveness. I believe that God knows my heart. I believe in the coming Kingdom of God. I believed He has revealed to us much truth but I also know we don't know everything or even close to it...I believe there is another dimension that we cannot comprehend, I believe in the possibility of the impossible, I believe in a perspective that we don't have...Everything will come full circle It has to.





I THANK GOD FOR ALL THAT WE DONT SEE

Thanksgiving... my favorite holiday that doesn't involve fireworks!

Hello Darlings!!!
I feel so out of the loop. I've been working ridiculous amounts of hours between the BUX and the design job, but I know it will pay off in the end when I can actually afford to pay rent this month.
Sarah... I want to hear all about the trip to Chicago and the birthday adventures! How did you like the Megabus?
Emily... new haircut?? I want to see so bad! You are always so trendy and delightful!
Karyn... do you ever acutally look at the blog?

So... my update:
Work work work! I do like Texas, it has been deliciously warm still (which makes it even harder to believe that it is almost Thanksgiving)! Things with Mark just keep getting better by the day. I am astonished by his kindness, generosity and love that grow moment by moment. I can't fathom how God can bless me so greatly with all that I've done to be such a screw up! For this... and much more... I am truly thankful!

I am on a little Thanksgiving adventure of my own! Last night we packed up the car and the cat and drove the seven hours to New Orleans for this holiday weekend. Wish I could be home seeing all of you... but I am not missing the snow and cold one single bit!
Anyone going to Louisville this year? Or just me? Well, in any case, Mark and I will be back in Cleveland the week between the Winter Family Weekend and New Years. Hope to see one and all then if you all will be around! I'm definitely feeling the need for a trip to The Melt and Great Lakes Brewing Co! I miss you guys so much!
-Amanda

Haha aw, I sound like such a dork. I remember when Mr.O'Brien asked me to write that for the magazine, and he had never actually, you know, READ anything of mine. He just got it in his head that I should be writing. It was kind of adorable.
Hi everybody! Lots has been going on [including SARAH making the trip for her birthday, thanks sarah! ::waves:: oh and I let Anna chop my hair off, aieee] but no time for that now! I'm heading out on an impromtu adventure, I'll be back in a few days with, I'm sure, pictures and stories. Happy Thanksgiving, kids, I hope its lovely for everyone.

Hope

An Incredible Universe
by Emily Graham
It had been an extremely long day, and I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed and dream for a few hours. However, on that extremely cold night in November, I dragged myself and my reluctant roommate out of our cozy dorm room. Armed with blankets, pillows and about 12 layers of clothing apiece, we waddled out and made a nest in the middle of the soccer field adjoining our dorm.
We settled down to wait. It was late November, and, being a self-proclaimed astronomy dork, I was excited: the Leonid meteor shower was to take place that night—well, morning I should say, much to my sleepy roommate's chagrin. My professor had reminded us of the event for weeks, but we were probably the only college students on our campus actually willing to brave the freezing temperatures to watch it, out of complete fascination and curiosity or complete stupidity. Probably a combination. But there we were, alone, waiting.
Payoff! The first meteor streaked across the sky, and my roommate and I cheered. This was followed by another ... and another ... and another. They were of assorted color, duration, and altitude, a variety I never knew existed. Dusty greens, fiery reds, golden hazes, bright whites ... I remember one shooting star that lasted seemingly forever, leaving a trail of sparkling gold dust behind it across the sky. They began to appear more quickly, and, invariably, the moment I would look away, my roommate would "ooo!" or "ahhh!" to announce the sighting of another. We lost count after the first 10 minutes and simply enjoyed the show.
A few hours after we had been out I remember lying there on the field, my eyes filled only with the night sky, I suddenly had a peculiar sensation. Instead of the usual feeling of being planted firmly on the ground with the heavens suspended above me, I had instead the dizzying sensation that I was simply suspended in the middle of that sky, in the midst of the stars, as I truly am. After all, I am resting on the earth, but the earth is resting on ... nothing.
I began to call to mind all of the random figures and facts that our teacher had drilled into us, about the enormous distances between the stars, the hundreds of years it would take to reach even the nearest one ... that our galaxy was comprised of billions upon billions of stars ... that there was only one galaxy observable to the naked eye, the Andromeda galaxy ... and yet there are billions of those galaxies out there. Billions! My mind can't even quite comprehend that rather small measurement, let alone the larger numbers required to describe the vastness of the universe.
As I lay there, I realized that stars were being formed, galaxies were spiraling into one another, supernovas were violently exploding. How extraordinary! A scripture—God's words to Job—came to my mind: "Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades? Can you loose the cords of Orion? Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs? Do you know the laws of the heavens? Can you set up God's dominion over the earth?" (Job 38:31-33, New International Version).
I felt indescribably tiny, my life insignificant. Physically, I could hardly count myself as dust. I was overwhelmed with the sheer grandeur of this universe that I inhabit, a universe of which I know almost nothing about, and yet the little that I do know is mind-bogglingly beautiful and can only lead me to conclude extraordinary things about the Being who fashioned it.
My thoughts were suddenly brought back to earth by a biting gust of wind. I sat up and looked around for a moment, and it suddenly occurred to me as oddly wonderful, the place in the universe that I personally inhabited. I glanced around at the fields in which I lay, the tree-covered hilltops off in the distance, the nearby darkened houses, and finally at my brave friend willing to share the frosty morning with her crazy roommate, watching chunks of rock disintegrate in our atmosphere.
Out of all the universe, that was my place. That tiny little corner of space and time was mine to inhabit and affect. I might only be dust, but I am dust with a purpose. What an incredible opportunity! What an incredible universe—and what an incredible mind behind it! VT

I wasn't feeling well today and spent nearly all of it on the couch, eating pierogis and ice cream, drinking Great Lakes Christmas Ale, and watching Breakfast at Tiffany's.
I feel much better now.

Sarah- Love the pics- you are beautiful!

Em- Sounds delicious! Thanks for calling me last night! You made my day!

Karyn- Glad we talked last weekend... I HAVE A REAL JOB (haha... well sort of... and then there is still Starbucks)!

There may be some sexy people in Chicago....but c'mon! ;)

Im just dandy

I AM doing just dandy. I just got my birthday off so I can come see you! My birthday is on Friday the 16th. The boss said I could have it off to come see you. So, I was looking on Mega Bus and If I left Thursday nite at midnight..(like right when I turn 29:) I will get into Chicago at 5 am Friday..HA! or I can leave Friday morning at 9:30am and get there at 2:30ishpm. I have to leave Chicago Sunday afternoon tho. So, is coming in at 5am too crazy? We could go back to sleep and take an extravagant nap for old time sake? Lemme know what you think k?
KARYN HOW ARE YOUUUUU??? ;) Amanda Im glad to hear you like your lil' apartment. Thats great! Lots of sunlight is wonderful too. Well, I am getting something done down here in "my" domain in the basement before bed. Love you each! Keep your heads up and in tune with all that you are facing...which is only this moment...now.

How are YOU guys doing? Because:

I'm wearing an all polka-dot outfit, drinking a glass of wine, and listening to an old Rolling Stones album on repeat. Today is a great day.

Finally...

Good Morning Darlings!
Happy Sabbath to you all! I miss you guys!
Em- thanks for the post, been wondering how you were doing. Glad everything is ok. PS- your mom is too cute, she has been emailing me just to stay in touch! I love that!
Sarah??? Are you anti blogging again? What happened? Where are you?

So- the update-
Texas is getting better. I am actually quite happy (and sort of don't know what to do with that yet, but I am enjoying it). It has been a busy week. Things have definately gotten better since Monday. The weather is sunny and delightful, not too hot, not too cold (though getting chilly enough for a jacket at night, *an aside* people seriously wear shorts and scarves at the same time, how weird).
I moved into an adorable little one bedroom that is less than one mile from Marks (only 5 right turns and I'm there) and 2 miles from my new Starbucks. It is on the 3rd floor, so it has a vaulted ceiling in the living room and so much sunlight comes it! I love it! I even have a nice sized balcony!
So... I had that interview right before we went to Alaska and I met with them again this week. I am going to be working sort of as an intern at Masserano Real Estate and Consulting/Berry Design group (they are partnering on a contract/per project basis) and I will probably even get paid a little bit for certain projects-YEA! Masserano does mostly medical and dental office design and Berry does all types of offices, retail, and restaurant design. They are both small companies and both really interested in working with me, in fact, I start Monday. So I'll still be doing Starbucks for a while, but Masserano is hoping to hire me on full time eventually I think!!
At least that worked out for the good, this is a perfect way to get started really doing what I love! Thank you for your prayers!
Anyway, that's about it for now! What's going on with you three??
Love, love, love,
-Amanda

OKAY. Time for a post! First of all, I'm fine, my skin has basically spent the past few weeks freaking about and I wasn't sure what was going on, but it was getting pretty unbearable. I got it looked at and its just a form of eczema [triggered by stress, possibly...but what stress could that have been recently?] and easily treatable. Its much improved, thanks for the worries.
So then. Other things. My mom's visit was amazing, it was so great to have her here and show her around. I had an amazing birthday -- thanks for the wishes, and Amanda, your pictures are hanging all over the wall now! My mom even took all of us out to see the new Wes Anderson movie, The Darjeeling Limited, and made it through the whole thing. It was very edgy of her. Last night we had a gigantic birthday celebration deemed "October Fest", since about five of us here have birthdays this month. It was a lot of singing and I met some new people, some surprising stories came out of it. I watched every single Indians game at the dive bar 30 seconds away and I'll save those stories for later, they have been sort of movie-esque. I had a really amazing surprise this weekend too, Annie stopped in Chicago for literally three hours on her way back from a week in Wisconsin, I didn't think I would see her for at least another few months, so that was incredible. I HAVE SO MANY STORIES but I am sick and sleepy so I'm just going to have to save them. HOWEVER, I think of you girls so often. Amanda, I hope that Texas is feeling a little better, keep us updated. And Sarah, GET YOURSELF TO CHICAGO.
Ahem. The end!

sigh...

wow... I don't know what is going on... but I hope everything is ok! Em... you ok?

So... maybe it just because today is Monday, or because it is cold and rainy (IN TEXAS, yeah... I know... so not what I signed up for!), but today has been an icky day so far. My Starbucks in Medina 'forgot' to input my vacation pay for the time off during the Feast, so I didn't get paid on the 12th of the month at all, like I should have. I spent last week playing phone tag trying to get them to take care of the issue, so hopefully it will be resolved soon. On top of that... for whatever reason (probably because it was my first week at this store in Texas) my Starbucks in Texas 'forgot' to pay me any of the tip money (which we split and everyone already took home, so there isn't any left for me). I tried to talk to my boss, but she was busy with a meeting today, I don't know what will happen. So.... ICK... I hate money (and most especially the lack there of)! I'm trying not to worry (ya know... the whole fear of failure thing I mentioned earlier), it is more just being really really irritated at other people's incompetance (also not such a becoming trait, I'm sure)!

All things work together for good..................right?
-a

hang in there

my poor emily! I talked to your mom and she updated me. How did it go when you went to 'urgent care'? Did they give you something to help? I'm sorry you are going thru that!! grrrr!! Did you get rid of your bed? I think thats a good idea. If I am understanding the circumstances properly. I love you and hope things are getting better. Wish I could do something to help. Hang in there and stay strong...xox

I'm alive! I'm here! I'll be back in a sec!

Emily? Emily? Emily? Emillllyyyy??? xox

God and Mindfullness

First Id like to say...EMILY...I had so many ideas for your bday....however my bank had another plan...and hit me with 11 overdraft fees of $38!!!!!! crazy...but I HAVE TO COME SEE YOU IN NOVEMBER. I will be your belated birthday present and seeing you will be my birthday present to myself:) xox nuff said
So here I sit at the library while lil' man is in school. I've been a bit anxious yesterday and today so I decided to get on the pc listening to some relaaaxxxing meditation music and I went to www.dailyom.com I want to grow daily in living here...right now. I want to soak it in. Our minds are so busy with junk and nonesense...sigh...we need to take the garbage out!!! I can look out the window and see the trees in the midst of change swaying with the wind...so strong and free.....
Here is some things that I read on the website...

Aligned, Relaxed, Resilient From "Aligned, Relaxed, Resilient: The Physical Foundations of Mindfulness" by Will JohnsonPosted by: DailyOM
"The practice of mindfulness has been called "the royal road to enlightenment." A central feature of Buddhist practice, it can be found in one form or another in all spiritual traditions whose goal is to awaken from the slumber of illusions into an awareness of what is truly and profoundly real. Mindfulness can perhaps best be defined as a condition of relaxed alertness in which we see what is here to be seen, hear what is here to be heard, feel what is here to be felt, taste what is here to be tasted, smell what is here to be smelled, and are aware of the condition of the mind that either supports the clear perception of our sensory fields or interferes with it. The emphasis is always on what is here. In a condition of mindfulness, we do not hold on to or yearn for an event that has passed. Neither do we miss what is present by our anticipation of an event that is about to occur. "

All this being said...as Christians we have to combine this with Jesus' wisdom. LIVING FOR THE NOW is not our calling. At the end of life you'll just have some youthful memories but no treasures stored in heaven. Many think that the sweeping populartiy of MINDFULLNESS and THE NOW isn't something Christians should get into...but anyone that has suffered from anxiety and learns of mindfullness will find it helpful in cleaning out our preoccupied hearts and minds of mindless anxiety and worries~garbage!. .. We must open ourselves to our sight,hearing,taste, touch and smell.....Look around you, be aware of your being...find the things you've been taking for granted... We miss SO much within each day.
We do have to be careful...that we don't allow the subtle influences of buddism that may conflict with our biblical beliefs and wisdom learned from Jesus. As we begin "taking out our garbage" our ULTIMATE FOCUS should always be the Kingdom of God.
I hope this inspires...soak up what we HAVE within and around us...As we involve God in our mindfullness & learning to not be reactional to others or situations or to what is or what isn't...He will want to help us as we also look to God to keep our future Vision alive!
Thats it for now...peace

Hello girls

Hey girls,
I know it has been quite a while since I have written. I hope that all of you are doing well and having adventures wherever you are. Amanda, I hope that everything is going well. Just remember that God has brought you Mark for a reason, so He has a reason for you being where you are today...things will all fall into place with time. I hope you are feeling better than you did before. Sarah has a good point as well that we need to put our focus on the positive things, not react to our circumstances and let our emotions take over. Stress and worry have a way of beating you down over time, and it doesn't normally help the situation.

Well I have to get going but I just wanted to let you all know that I miss you and I love you and I am thinking of you! Have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Love, K

To: A,K & E

Ladies..."The Little Book of Letting Go" is one of my favorites. I actually havent read it all yet but I do know if applied it can change our anxious minds and hearts. There are things that I remind myself everyday that is gradually helping...such as

"I have to make my state of mind more important than who or what is going on around me" I don't want to live "reactional" anymore. Who does and says what....or what happens or doesn't happen ~ determines HOW I FEEL??? and even when it's not happening it still is holding me back when I'm anxious about that which I can't control.Who's in charge here?? I won't let it happen anymore without a fight...infact it's not a fight at all...you just walk off the battlefield!.....

We have no control over others thoughts or actions...we have no control over what will happen or what has happened...but we are crippling ourselves in the here and now by worrying about such things....Hope this helps....

Let Go of Control.“You can’t control other egos and events, so let go of control. You can only control your focus. So focus on what unites, comforts, and stills your mind.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 116

-->
Letting Go of Outcomes
“Although we can’t control even the tiniest ego or smallest event, we can control our decision to control. We can let go and be free, or we can fight useless battles. But we can’t do both. Either our attention is on form or content, on appearance or substance. By letting go of our desire to dominate outcomes, we don’t sacrifice anything real, but we do open our heart and mind to the experience of wholeness.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 112-113

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Forgiveness
“Forgiving and forgetting feed our denial system. We need to think about, remember, understand, and make good decisions about what we are forgiving, what can be forgotten, and what is still a problem. And forgiving someone does not mean we have to let that person keep hurting us….
“I am not suggesting we adopt an unforgiving attitude. We all need forgiveness. Grudges and anger hurt us; they don’t help the other person much either. Forgiveness is wonderful. It wipes the slate clean. It clears up guilt. It brings peace and harmony. It acknowledges and accepts the humanness we all share, and it says, ‘That’s okay. I love you anyway.’ But I believe we codependents need to be gentle, loving, and forgiving with ourselves before we can expect to forgive others. But I believe codependents need to think about how, why, and when we dole out forgiveness.
“Also, forgiveness is closely tied into the acceptance or grief process. We cannot forgive someone for doing something if we have not fully accepted what this person has done….
“Forgiveness comes in time — in its own time — if we are striving to take care of ourselves.”
– Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 197-198

Getting use to peace
“As we develop our lives, set our goals, and find things to do that interest us, peace will become comfortable–more comfortable than chaos.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 192

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Control is an Illusion.
“I’m here to say we can’t control anything. This is why being single doesn’t give us independence, why having personal wealth doesn’t give us protection, why having raised our children doesn’t set us free, or any of the zillion other conclusions our culture draws from the assumption that the key to control is to rely on ourselves first.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 107

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A Gift
“Although not knowing may itself seem like a bad thing, I am convinced it is one of the great gifts of the dark night of the soul. To be immersed in mystery can be very distressing at first, but over time I have found immense relief in it. It takes the pressure off. I no longer have to worry myself to death about what I did right or wrong to cause a good or a bad experience — because there really is no way of knowing. I don’t have to look for spiritual lessons in every trouble that comes along. There have been many spiritual lessons to be sure, but they’ve been given to me in the course of life; I haven’t had to figure out a single one.”
– Gerald G. May, The Dark Night of the Soul, p. 15

-->
How to Know Peace
“Some things are simple, and here’s one of them: You can either relax and let go of your life, in which case you will know peace. Or you can try to control your life, in which case you will know war.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 110

Hi Girls,

   Well... I made it to Houston.  It was the longest drive I've ever made!!  Everyone at church yesterday was very friendly so that was comforting.  But... I'm scared... to fail.  I still have not found a job and it is discouraging that nothing is working out.  Mark has been great and very supportive, always pointing to the positive.   Still... I worry.  Tomorrow is a new day, I will be going to talk to the manager at the Starbucks I will  have to work at in the mean time to set up my schedule for the next week or so.  At least there is that.  

I do not know what to expect from the rest of life... (tears)

I love you all no matter what, and I miss you all.

-a

hey em! I was just about to get in bed and I realized you still havent see my dinosaur shirt! Daniel LOVES it! It was only 5 bucks. I knew 2 people in my life would think it was HOT! awww look at the lil' hearts! okay so anyway this was purely so you could see my ummm...t shirt! g'nite:)

Opening Up

So, the other day I was driving and realized....da$%!! I miss Emily even more than I thought I would. I guess I tried not to think of the effect certain loses may be having.I lost (Alex) my "safe haven" best friend (of over 2 years),big brother,protector, and boyfriend-all wound up in one ... in a bad way. Then my closest girlfriend that can bring me joy when no one else can~ moved away... (both occurred within 2 months). I'm gonna wear my heart on my sleeve here..there have been a few times...driving on the freeway...or like right now...that my eyes well up when I think about how much I miss you. You know I was very supportive of your decision despite how I would miss you. I know you're surrounded by excitement and these days you are "livin' it up"...I guess I just fear... that in the midst of the exciting new Chicago life you might forget how great "us" is...we zero out eachothers sadness...we have lived different lives but can still relate...appreciate the artistry of life...how we can sit and talk about God and the unknown... the peace we find when we gaze at the stars, watch the sunset, listen to the waves,when I painted on your arm, when we molded clouds with our hands and you reached up high to set them afloat......and everything is right in the world and even if it isn't... its still okay.

Oh stupid fear...

there are plenty of houses to rent with fireplaces and bookshelves and sunrooms on coventry....waiting for us when you're ready:) xox

Lovely.

Hallo girls! I am sitting at a coffee shop counter that Julia works at, called "Lovely" [I can see her wandering around in kneesocks and a vintage apron, it makes me proud], drinking a mocha and eating an incredible chocolate cupcake and thinking about how much all of you would love this place. I'm glad that the Feast was full of adventures and sparkler friends and sled dogs, I am impressed, and the pictures are wonderful. And I wish so much that I could have been at the Melt, both for the grilled cheese and the company. Amanda, I am so excited about your pending adventure.
What have I been up to? After my last entry, challenging myself to find a female friend, one of the girls at work invited me out for the evening and we've hit it off and have had a few more dates -- its delightful. What else? The short of it: there have been lots of late nights, sunrises over the lake, singing on the street for fun [and some money!] hopscotch, dancing in a hipster club with total strangers, key lime martinis, devouring new books and rereading my favorites, a concert in the breathtaking Chicago Theater downtown, watching baseball games at the divebar 30 seconds away from my door [and falling in love with the boy working there], getting terribly lost everytime I step off of a train, and generally trying to figure out my life. I was given a new name on the street by a psychic ["Theoyla Cassett" -- he said I needed a strong black woman's name to match my spirit and an artist's last name to match my creativity, ahaha]. My new favorite activity is to sit on the steps of a nearby apartment building on my lunch break, eating an apple, and blatently people watch. I always make up stories about the individuals as they pass. I love living in cities. I could never do without the people and the noise.
Oh. And we have a tree in our kitchen. It's a long story.

YEA!!!! It worked!!! (Thanks Karyn!)
PS- Em- your birthday present is en route!!! Enjoy my lovey! Welcome to 25!

Tear.... can you guys come with me????

Ok... I'm going to try to put in a link one more time (why am I blog stupid??)

http://mark.scenemenow.com/ -Alaskan Adventure pics!

Emily with us in spirit.

I will miss you very much. You always have

a special place in my heart.

I will think of you daily and pray for your future blessings.

This is a new beginning! Make it wild and succulent!

I love you! xox-Sarah

Why can't I figure out how to post a hyperlink???

I'm back (for 3 more days)

Hey Ladies,
I miss you guys! You should all have recieved post cards (except Sarah, I didn't actually mail yours cause I don't know your address.) Alaska was beautiful! Put it on your life lists and make sure you get there! We took a small plane from Talkeetna (the town that 'Northern Exposure' was modeled after... scary super small town... aka.. a few cabins and some mountain men) and flew around Denali National Park. Mt. McKinley was breath taking, and that doesn't even begin to describe it. We landed on one of the glaciers and got to get out of the plane and play in the snow. Snow on a glacier is way better that just plain old snow in Cleveland. We also took a 6 hour cruise after the feast into Kenai Fjords National Park and saw Orcas up close!! Even a lone North Am. Humpback whale made an appearance (most of them are well on their migratory way to Maui by now... smart whales!) Anyway, you can see it all in the pics. I made some new friends from Texas, however none as cool as the 3 of you! Jay also made a friend of the female persuasion (but you didn't hear it from me), we'll see what comes of that! Her name is Beth Issacs and you will see her in the pics on Mark's sceneme webpage. I don't know if I have put the link in correctly so let me give it to you again, just in case.... it is http://mark.scenemenow.com (no www)! Ok, that's about it for now. Back to packing. I feel like a real bagabon and boxabon these days!
Love y'all (haha I'm practicing to be a real Texan)!

I made this sign for Eddie and Shannon's car!!

This was my feast friends with the sparklers I passed out in Savannah, Ga...on the river...listening to the man playing "wonderful world" :)

Savannah

Almost home...I just got in from the feast. I am at Eddie and Shannon's apartment in Middletown,Ohio. (near cincy) I wish I was "home" already. But I will stay here tonight and leave tomorrow. Em, did you get my message when I was in Savannah,GA?? About an hour later I found myself on a cobblestone road on the river in Historic Savannah....We saw an older black gentleman playing "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong ....I was in a group of about 10 people...naturally I had my backpack with goodies in it...I took out my multi-colored sparklers and passed them out to my friends-new and old. I danced around...got out my chalk and shared freely...the man sang another song for the newly weds Lena and Lewis...I tried to light 6 sparklers at a time....but they burst into flames....back to passing them out one at a time.......I picked up my chalk and wrote...
Thy Kingdom Come

Hello Ladies!
HAPPY FEAST OF TABERNACLES! So.. ok... it takes freaking forever to get to Alaska, but so far it has been worth it. Today we went to the kennels of Martin Busher... the 4 time Iditerod Dog Sled Race winner. They let you hold the puppies!!! (something about socializing them... blah blah... I'm holding a puppy!!!!)
I miss you all! I wish teleporting was real.
Anyway... we are off to dinner. Missing you and wishing you all a good weekend!
LOVE!-A

Everyone left without saying goodbye? Poor blogging form, ladies! Hope the week is lovely.

You're Gonna Miss Your Friends

Ahaha, awesome about your new friend, Sarah. I'm sure that you handled the situation beautifully. Just to fill you in -- the shop that I'm working at is... well I guess it's a combination of vintage and then thrift store -- newer items that we resell. There are a few new items as well. All of the kids working there are young and tattooed and trying to break into the fashion industry and just generally hip. I've been thinking about your post, it hit on some things that have been on my mind as I find myself in a new city. When I've made "new" friends in the past few years -- as in, people completely new to me, not friends-of-friends, or reconnections from schools, etc-- they have almost all been boys. I think that somehow, talking to boys is much easier in a social situation, in a lot of ways its much simpler than talking to people of the same sex. I suppose that its just more common to be looking for a connection with someone of the opposite sex at bars/coffee shops/concerts. Interesting. I've been faced with that same dilemma here a few times as well -- I don't want the interesting girl that I'm chatting up to think that I'm in it for a date. Maybe I'll make acquiring a new female friend my new challenge. And i definitely agree that, in a male/female pairing, there will always be an element of attraction, from one or both sides, whether or not it is ever acted upon. I MISS MY CLEVELAND GIRLFRIENDS. Or, soon to be Cleveland/Houston girlfriends. I hope that this last weekend in town was lovely, Amanda. I can't fathom going back to visit and not finding you there.
Speaking of friends: one of my favorite book passages for you! The scene: a hero is sitting on a park bench, when an unfamiliar woman stops in front of him and silently sizes him up.
"I'm looking for some friends," said the girl, glancing at Antoine and then at their surroundings.
"What do they look like?"
"Like you, maybe. You looked like someone interesting sitting there on that bench, so I told myself you'd want to be one of my friends. You seem pretty good quality. Superior quality."
I want the guts to try that out sometime, preferably on John Cusack, who i happen upon, sitting by the lake.

friends

I hadn't blogged much this week for once because I freaked myself out at just how often I was blogging. But here I am. Yes, I am "out here" Amanda:) Emily so is this a sheek thrift store,antique or is it new clothes? Yes, I remember back in the day when I was in retail how hard it sometimes was to be passionate about whatever it was I was suppose to be selling. Drugs help. (j/k of course)
So when you say you spent the week with this "boy" you are speaking of while being at work, Correct ? If it had been hanging out with him elsewhere, you would already be doing what you are trying to gear up to do. So Im gonna guess " a week together at the store" Now, hmmm making friends.... Most of the "friends" you make are "boys" (when I say that I feel like Im in 7th grade) Which use to be my style too but as we discussed the baton fully belongs to you. so really there is another dynamic usually thrown in. Attraction and a certain kind of intrigue that very often we rather not have ruined by too much reality...We both know....and oh do I know from my recent experiences....that it is usually impossible (and I always argued with my dad on this one) for people of the opposite sex to be JUST friends. There is usually something on one or both of the sides....So I propose to you that making a new friend (a woman/girl) can be quite a dance as well. Just some girl off the Cleveland or Chicago streets that you find intriguing and such.....talking to her...maybe hitting it off .....and proposing you see eachother again....how do you do THAT without one thinking the connection desired is more than just trying to evolve from strangers to friends...
I had an experience last week....lets just say...I met a woman at happy hour. her and I hit it off. I don't know anyone around here and was bored...she is a mother of an adorable 5 yr old special needs boy.She spoke of how badly they needed a nanny that could understand him...I gave her a number that could hopefully help. I said I was hungry she said she was too but her husband works 3rd shift and she had to get home to her son. Her friday nite was gonna consist of making chicken wings for herself and having some drinks while taking care of her son. She said I was more than welcome to come over and have chicken wings,drinks and meet her son that we spoke so much about. So I thought for a second...What the heck....I said yes, I havent had much excitement lately. This is quite spontaneous and others my think down right crazy. WELL A sista knows how to cook mmm mmmm mmmm....we had black cherry vodka and pepsi... her son and I hit it off...I wish he could get the proper help he needs. So we were just chillin.....and then ....I was clued in that she may be a tad drunk and feeling a little less straight then when I met her a few hours ago....I think she wanted a lil more...ETC....so much for a new friend....But damn were those chicken wings goooood!;) (now now, have some confidence in me....no I havent called her since;)

p.s....Dont get me wrong Em This was not a message of encouragement in trying something new! ...stick to your "friends" of the male persuasion. Then I don't have to wonder where I stand....I know you'll have your lil stage crush on an artichoke or two...but your "happy place" resides right her in cleveland;)

Sorry to post about food, but the pictures are adorable.

Shew, happy Friday. I spent most of this week working, I feel a little out of place at the shop. Everyone is so lovely but also actually knowledgable/interested in fashion and trends, while I stay out of regular stores and just dress to please myself. I have to kind of educate myself on the subject since we're responsible for taking in clothes to sell, but it's hard to muster that kind of enthusiasm for something so frivolous. BUT THAT'S OKAY, really its an ideal situation. I even missed a dramatic shoplifting by five minutes [which culminated in the young man screaming, 'I'M TAKING THE PANTS!' and bolting out the door wearing a pair of jeans and holding a tshirt]. Oddly enough, the lovely boy from a nearby bookshop turned out to be a new hire this week, I almost fell over when he walked in for his first day.
We spent the week together but he's heading for the new store opening in Wicker Park, and I am too much of a chicken to propose that we get coffee/play frisbee/eat grilled cheese sandwiches together. HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT MAKING FRIENDS? Without being creepy, of course. It really mystifies me. That initial awkward gap... its amazing to me that we can ever bridge it. Maybe I'll have half a bottle of wine and go track him down at the bookstore again sometime and pretend to be brave.
There hasn't been time for much else, I've done a little wandering and another concert and had the most amazing milkshakes of my life. 7 dollars [Pulp Fiction, anyone?] but totally worth it. Come visit and they're on me! Much love.

HELLO??? Is anyone out there????

Good Morning My Loves!

EM! Congrats on the job,you fashionista!!! Your mom told me and I was so happy to hear the news! Hope all is well in Chi Town! Looking forward to more stories and adventures!

I hope you all have a great week! I love you!

who in the world is that girl? She has blond hair, glasses and amazingly funny facial expressions. For a second I thought it was me...I know Em, 4 weeks!!!...but very soon Mr. O'brien will perform our wedding services...I love you .....please send me some adorable stuffed animal to sleep with...the nights are long.

So. It's been a little while. I hope that everyone had a lovely day, I'm glad to read of everyone's adventures. I can't believe its been a year for Karyn and Nick. I can't believe that Amanda's moving in a month. And I can't believe I haven't seen Sarah in over 4 weeks!
Last weekend, my friend Josh came up and softened my homesickness a little bit. David and Josh and I went to a music festival; Josh had a fantastic, expensive looking camera, and, [long story but to make it quick] after befriending a woman in front of us with an all access pass, Josh ended up sneaking backstage, and at one point I realized that he was ON the stage, snapping photos. It was a day of adventures all around. I finally scored a job at the little vintage/thrift store, I am not cool enough to work there but everyone has been so nice to me, I can wear whatever I like, and the music makes me happy. I'll take it for now.
I noticed yesterday that this city is finally starting to feel like a home to me. I was walking to work and I realized that I have some familiar points that I look forward to; there are giraffe statues across from a tiny tucked away park, the tiny bookstore staffed by a young man who always smiles when I walk by, the smell of coffee from one of many cafés along the route, fresh bouquets spilling out onto the sidewalk in front of the florists, artwork leaned up against trees on pretty days. I'm less of a stranger and more of a resident, and I can't tell you how good that feels.

Feast of Trumpets

I look forward to this day more than anything...

1 Corinthians 15:50

Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does corruption inherit incorruption. 51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-

52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.

Matthew 24:30-31

"Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.

And He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.

Dear God,

Please increase our faith in You,Jesus and the plan that You have for all mankind. Wash away our doubt. Speak to us and feed our minds and hearts with Your truth and revelation. Inspire us with Your Spirit. Give us the understanding and belief that only You can give. Protect us from the influence of our enemy and give us a desire to come to You daily for the armor that we need to fight this battle. Please bless this Feast of Trumpets and reveal your plan to many more this festival season. Please come to our rescue soon! In the meantime, inspire our vision...our eyesight is so narrow...Help us to learn and grow in wisdom,strength and love...Instill in us YOUR VISION. In Jesus Name, Amen

God of Wonders

Beautiful! Please watch this video...

MercyMe - I Can Only Imagine

The day WILL come! It has to...nothing else makes sense. The Ultimate reUNION!

I hope they have decent grilled cheese in Texas! Mmmm... grilled cheese with Texas toast?!?!

She's ALIVE

Hello ladies...
Contrary to popular belief, I have not fallen off of the face of the planet. I apologize that it has been so long since I posted...but I have a bad habit of reading the blogs and then going "I'll write something later when I have time to think about it" and low and behold I don't do it.

Enough about my slackerishness. Not too much going on...just work, and some freelancing work I'm doing on the side and the house stuff. Nick and I had our anniversary last Sunday (but we celebrated on Saturday). We went to the 100th Bomber Group for dinner and then had planned to go see a movie...but we are getting old and pathetic so we decided to rent some instead and relax at home (Sad isn't it?). Amyway he bought me flowers and got me a sappy card and we reminisced over the last year...and how it should get easier since we dumped all of the really big stressful changes into the first year...tee hee. So hopefully it will be smoother sailing from here.

Well I really enjoy the blog and getting a chance to read all about what is going on in your lives.

Amanda - I am so excited for you and the upcoming move...a bit sad...but excited for you. You will love being there near your new honey...just promise you will come HOME often.

Emily - I am glad to hear that you are still having many adventures in Chicago. How is the job thing going? Did you find anything yet?

Sarah - I just wanted to let you know that I am proud of you for the way you are handling all of the events that have happened recently. Stay strong sista, and I am always here if you need me.

Well girls I gotta get to bed. Love you all!

Take a look at this! Its a slideshow of Euclid Ave. in its hey days! Listen to their stories...I love older peoples story about "hot it use to be"....

http://www.cleveland.com/slideshows/index.ssf?euclid.html

September 11, 2007
Anticipating The Good
Anxiety About Change
When we find ourselves going through any kind of change in our lives, our natural response may be to tense up on the physical, mental, or emotional level. We may not even notice that we have braced ourselves against a shift until we recognize the anxiety, mood swings, or general worried feeling toward the unknown that usually results. There are positive ways to move through change without pushing it away, however, or attempting to deny that it is happening. Since change will occur in almost every aspect of our lives, we can learn to make our response to it an affirmative one of anticipation, welcoming the new while releasing the past with grace. One thing we can do is change our perspective by changing the labels we use to identify our feelings. We can reinterpret feelings of anxiety as the anxious butterflies that come with eager expectation. With this shift, we begin to look for the good that is on its way to us. Though we may only be able to imagine the possibilities, when we acknowledge that good is there for us to find, we focus our energy on joyful anticipation and bring it into our experience while allowing the feelings to carry us forward. We can also choose to do a ceremony to allow our emotions to process. Every culture has created ceremonies to help people make the transition from one phase of life to the next. We can always create a ceremony too, perhaps by burning written thoughts to watch the smoke carry them away, thereby releasing them, or we can welcome new endeavors by planting flowers or trees. Some ceremonial activities such as a farewell send-off or housewarming party, we may do automatically. Society also has built-in ceremonies, like graduation and weddings, which may satisfy the need we feel. Sometimes the shift from denial to acceptance is all that is needed to ease our anxiety, allowing us to bring our memories with us as we move through nervousness to joyful excitement about the good to come. (taken from www.dailyom.com

Hey,
Found this and thought I'd pass it along. Continental has fares Cleveland to Chicago and Chicago to Cleveland $66.00 each way plus taxes. Not the best deal, but still not bad. Here is the link:
http://www.continental.com/web/en-US/content/deals/offers/featured_fares_fll.aspx?camp=COSP&campyear=2007&sender=EMAIL_MKTG&language=EN

Love you!

WTF???

So Im on Flickr and what do I find????

WTF???

Mary wrote this below your picture...

"my future fake wife. She will reach the things high up in kitchen cabinets, I will get the ones that are closest to the ground. "

That's the same girl in the ohio city alley right??? Oh yeah, well I told her....lmao!!....you gotta find my response to her pic on flickr....

You betta tell her if she asks!! I crack myself up! Don't worry I know you love ME!!

Sabbath

So instead of going to bowling green Amanda,Erica and I went to a mexican restaurant...mmm mmm mmmm. Margarita's too! Then I took Amanda to Rocky River park and we sat on the rocks near the waves on the lake and took it all in. After that we went to Mitchell's and got some yummy raspberry cheesecake ice cream. I had a nice Sabbath with ya!
Well its almost 5 pm and I have done absolutely nothing...Im done watching my show"Girlfriends" ya'll fair skinned girls dont know nothin bout that;) ha! love you ladies.
Oh Karyn what did you and Don Juan do for your anniversary??

Sarah and I are off to adventures in Bowling Green this weekend! Hooray for the Black Swamp Arts Festival! We'll still be missing our better halves though (Karyn and Emily!)

Emily- Missin' you! I'm working on a suprise for you! No hints!

Karyn- Happy Anniversary! That's nuts, a whole year already!

Check out pics of my birthday weekend at: http://mark.scenemenow.com/gallery/160

WHO???

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6.12)

Who wants you to compare yourself to others instead of the Perfect Example you were already given?

Who wants you to doubt God's existence just enough so you never get close enough to hear His voice?

FACING MY GIANT

Is my abusive X boyfriend really the one who wanted to defeat my trust, love and compassion for my fellow person and replace it with fear and anger?

Is he really the one who wants me to hate myself and feel guilty and worthless?

Is my boss the one who wants me to be filled with hatred and anger because of her disrespect and condescending attitude? No.

They are merely tools working for the devil...

Who wants me to be filled with anger and indignation so much that I toss and turn wishing I could sleep? Who wants me to continue seeing my X's face in my dreams? Who wants me to be distracted just enough to not have God's peace? Who wants me to be pissed off just enough so I don't feel the relief of forgiving? Who wants me to feel worthless and unloveable?

Tonight you will NOT win! I was reminded who I am really fighting with~ its seems thats half the battle! You can not destroy God so you try to destroy God within me...
TONIGHT IS NOT YOUR NIGHT!!!! - ME

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4.4)