So, the other day I was driving and realized....da$%!! I miss Emily even more than I thought I would. I guess I tried not to think of the effect certain loses may be having.I lost (Alex) my "safe haven" best friend (of over 2 years),big brother,protector, and boyfriend-all wound up in one ... in a bad way. Then my closest girlfriend that can bring me joy when no one else can~ moved away... (both occurred within 2 months). I'm gonna wear my heart on my sleeve here..there have been a few times...driving on the freeway...or like right now...that my eyes well up when I think about how much I miss you. You know I was very supportive of your decision despite how I would miss you. I know you're surrounded by excitement and these days you are "livin' it up"...I guess I just fear... that in the midst of the exciting new Chicago life you might forget how great "us" is...we zero out eachothers sadness...we have lived different lives but can still relate...appreciate the artistry of life...how we can sit and talk about God and the unknown... the peace we find when we gaze at the stars, watch the sunset, listen to the waves,when I painted on your arm, when we molded clouds with our hands and you reached up high to set them afloat......and everything is right in the world and even if it isn't... its still okay.
Oh stupid fear...
there are plenty of houses to rent with fireplaces and bookshelves and sunrooms on coventry....waiting for us when you're ready:) xox
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