There may be some sexy people in Chicago....but c'mon! ;)

Im just dandy

I AM doing just dandy. I just got my birthday off so I can come see you! My birthday is on Friday the 16th. The boss said I could have it off to come see you. So, I was looking on Mega Bus and If I left Thursday nite at midnight..(like right when I turn 29:) I will get into Chicago at 5 am Friday..HA! or I can leave Friday morning at 9:30am and get there at 2:30ishpm. I have to leave Chicago Sunday afternoon tho. So, is coming in at 5am too crazy? We could go back to sleep and take an extravagant nap for old time sake? Lemme know what you think k?
KARYN HOW ARE YOUUUUU??? ;) Amanda Im glad to hear you like your lil' apartment. Thats great! Lots of sunlight is wonderful too. Well, I am getting something done down here in "my" domain in the basement before bed. Love you each! Keep your heads up and in tune with all that you are facing...which is only this moment...now.

How are YOU guys doing? Because:

I'm wearing an all polka-dot outfit, drinking a glass of wine, and listening to an old Rolling Stones album on repeat. Today is a great day.

Finally...

Good Morning Darlings!
Happy Sabbath to you all! I miss you guys!
Em- thanks for the post, been wondering how you were doing. Glad everything is ok. PS- your mom is too cute, she has been emailing me just to stay in touch! I love that!
Sarah??? Are you anti blogging again? What happened? Where are you?

So- the update-
Texas is getting better. I am actually quite happy (and sort of don't know what to do with that yet, but I am enjoying it). It has been a busy week. Things have definately gotten better since Monday. The weather is sunny and delightful, not too hot, not too cold (though getting chilly enough for a jacket at night, *an aside* people seriously wear shorts and scarves at the same time, how weird).
I moved into an adorable little one bedroom that is less than one mile from Marks (only 5 right turns and I'm there) and 2 miles from my new Starbucks. It is on the 3rd floor, so it has a vaulted ceiling in the living room and so much sunlight comes it! I love it! I even have a nice sized balcony!
So... I had that interview right before we went to Alaska and I met with them again this week. I am going to be working sort of as an intern at Masserano Real Estate and Consulting/Berry Design group (they are partnering on a contract/per project basis) and I will probably even get paid a little bit for certain projects-YEA! Masserano does mostly medical and dental office design and Berry does all types of offices, retail, and restaurant design. They are both small companies and both really interested in working with me, in fact, I start Monday. So I'll still be doing Starbucks for a while, but Masserano is hoping to hire me on full time eventually I think!!
At least that worked out for the good, this is a perfect way to get started really doing what I love! Thank you for your prayers!
Anyway, that's about it for now! What's going on with you three??
Love, love, love,
-Amanda

OKAY. Time for a post! First of all, I'm fine, my skin has basically spent the past few weeks freaking about and I wasn't sure what was going on, but it was getting pretty unbearable. I got it looked at and its just a form of eczema [triggered by stress, possibly...but what stress could that have been recently?] and easily treatable. Its much improved, thanks for the worries.
So then. Other things. My mom's visit was amazing, it was so great to have her here and show her around. I had an amazing birthday -- thanks for the wishes, and Amanda, your pictures are hanging all over the wall now! My mom even took all of us out to see the new Wes Anderson movie, The Darjeeling Limited, and made it through the whole thing. It was very edgy of her. Last night we had a gigantic birthday celebration deemed "October Fest", since about five of us here have birthdays this month. It was a lot of singing and I met some new people, some surprising stories came out of it. I watched every single Indians game at the dive bar 30 seconds away and I'll save those stories for later, they have been sort of movie-esque. I had a really amazing surprise this weekend too, Annie stopped in Chicago for literally three hours on her way back from a week in Wisconsin, I didn't think I would see her for at least another few months, so that was incredible. I HAVE SO MANY STORIES but I am sick and sleepy so I'm just going to have to save them. HOWEVER, I think of you girls so often. Amanda, I hope that Texas is feeling a little better, keep us updated. And Sarah, GET YOURSELF TO CHICAGO.
Ahem. The end!

sigh...

wow... I don't know what is going on... but I hope everything is ok! Em... you ok?

So... maybe it just because today is Monday, or because it is cold and rainy (IN TEXAS, yeah... I know... so not what I signed up for!), but today has been an icky day so far. My Starbucks in Medina 'forgot' to input my vacation pay for the time off during the Feast, so I didn't get paid on the 12th of the month at all, like I should have. I spent last week playing phone tag trying to get them to take care of the issue, so hopefully it will be resolved soon. On top of that... for whatever reason (probably because it was my first week at this store in Texas) my Starbucks in Texas 'forgot' to pay me any of the tip money (which we split and everyone already took home, so there isn't any left for me). I tried to talk to my boss, but she was busy with a meeting today, I don't know what will happen. So.... ICK... I hate money (and most especially the lack there of)! I'm trying not to worry (ya know... the whole fear of failure thing I mentioned earlier), it is more just being really really irritated at other people's incompetance (also not such a becoming trait, I'm sure)!

All things work together for good..................right?
-a

hang in there

my poor emily! I talked to your mom and she updated me. How did it go when you went to 'urgent care'? Did they give you something to help? I'm sorry you are going thru that!! grrrr!! Did you get rid of your bed? I think thats a good idea. If I am understanding the circumstances properly. I love you and hope things are getting better. Wish I could do something to help. Hang in there and stay strong...xox

I'm alive! I'm here! I'll be back in a sec!

Emily? Emily? Emily? Emillllyyyy??? xox

God and Mindfullness

First Id like to say...EMILY...I had so many ideas for your bday....however my bank had another plan...and hit me with 11 overdraft fees of $38!!!!!! crazy...but I HAVE TO COME SEE YOU IN NOVEMBER. I will be your belated birthday present and seeing you will be my birthday present to myself:) xox nuff said
So here I sit at the library while lil' man is in school. I've been a bit anxious yesterday and today so I decided to get on the pc listening to some relaaaxxxing meditation music and I went to www.dailyom.com I want to grow daily in living here...right now. I want to soak it in. Our minds are so busy with junk and nonesense...sigh...we need to take the garbage out!!! I can look out the window and see the trees in the midst of change swaying with the wind...so strong and free.....
Here is some things that I read on the website...

Aligned, Relaxed, Resilient From "Aligned, Relaxed, Resilient: The Physical Foundations of Mindfulness" by Will JohnsonPosted by: DailyOM
"The practice of mindfulness has been called "the royal road to enlightenment." A central feature of Buddhist practice, it can be found in one form or another in all spiritual traditions whose goal is to awaken from the slumber of illusions into an awareness of what is truly and profoundly real. Mindfulness can perhaps best be defined as a condition of relaxed alertness in which we see what is here to be seen, hear what is here to be heard, feel what is here to be felt, taste what is here to be tasted, smell what is here to be smelled, and are aware of the condition of the mind that either supports the clear perception of our sensory fields or interferes with it. The emphasis is always on what is here. In a condition of mindfulness, we do not hold on to or yearn for an event that has passed. Neither do we miss what is present by our anticipation of an event that is about to occur. "

All this being said...as Christians we have to combine this with Jesus' wisdom. LIVING FOR THE NOW is not our calling. At the end of life you'll just have some youthful memories but no treasures stored in heaven. Many think that the sweeping populartiy of MINDFULLNESS and THE NOW isn't something Christians should get into...but anyone that has suffered from anxiety and learns of mindfullness will find it helpful in cleaning out our preoccupied hearts and minds of mindless anxiety and worries~garbage!. .. We must open ourselves to our sight,hearing,taste, touch and smell.....Look around you, be aware of your being...find the things you've been taking for granted... We miss SO much within each day.
We do have to be careful...that we don't allow the subtle influences of buddism that may conflict with our biblical beliefs and wisdom learned from Jesus. As we begin "taking out our garbage" our ULTIMATE FOCUS should always be the Kingdom of God.
I hope this inspires...soak up what we HAVE within and around us...As we involve God in our mindfullness & learning to not be reactional to others or situations or to what is or what isn't...He will want to help us as we also look to God to keep our future Vision alive!
Thats it for now...peace

Hello girls

Hey girls,
I know it has been quite a while since I have written. I hope that all of you are doing well and having adventures wherever you are. Amanda, I hope that everything is going well. Just remember that God has brought you Mark for a reason, so He has a reason for you being where you are today...things will all fall into place with time. I hope you are feeling better than you did before. Sarah has a good point as well that we need to put our focus on the positive things, not react to our circumstances and let our emotions take over. Stress and worry have a way of beating you down over time, and it doesn't normally help the situation.

Well I have to get going but I just wanted to let you all know that I miss you and I love you and I am thinking of you! Have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Love, K

To: A,K & E

Ladies..."The Little Book of Letting Go" is one of my favorites. I actually havent read it all yet but I do know if applied it can change our anxious minds and hearts. There are things that I remind myself everyday that is gradually helping...such as

"I have to make my state of mind more important than who or what is going on around me" I don't want to live "reactional" anymore. Who does and says what....or what happens or doesn't happen ~ determines HOW I FEEL??? and even when it's not happening it still is holding me back when I'm anxious about that which I can't control.Who's in charge here?? I won't let it happen anymore without a fight...infact it's not a fight at all...you just walk off the battlefield!.....

We have no control over others thoughts or actions...we have no control over what will happen or what has happened...but we are crippling ourselves in the here and now by worrying about such things....Hope this helps....

Let Go of Control.“You can’t control other egos and events, so let go of control. You can only control your focus. So focus on what unites, comforts, and stills your mind.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 116

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Letting Go of Outcomes
“Although we can’t control even the tiniest ego or smallest event, we can control our decision to control. We can let go and be free, or we can fight useless battles. But we can’t do both. Either our attention is on form or content, on appearance or substance. By letting go of our desire to dominate outcomes, we don’t sacrifice anything real, but we do open our heart and mind to the experience of wholeness.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 112-113

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Forgiveness
“Forgiving and forgetting feed our denial system. We need to think about, remember, understand, and make good decisions about what we are forgiving, what can be forgotten, and what is still a problem. And forgiving someone does not mean we have to let that person keep hurting us….
“I am not suggesting we adopt an unforgiving attitude. We all need forgiveness. Grudges and anger hurt us; they don’t help the other person much either. Forgiveness is wonderful. It wipes the slate clean. It clears up guilt. It brings peace and harmony. It acknowledges and accepts the humanness we all share, and it says, ‘That’s okay. I love you anyway.’ But I believe we codependents need to be gentle, loving, and forgiving with ourselves before we can expect to forgive others. But I believe codependents need to think about how, why, and when we dole out forgiveness.
“Also, forgiveness is closely tied into the acceptance or grief process. We cannot forgive someone for doing something if we have not fully accepted what this person has done….
“Forgiveness comes in time — in its own time — if we are striving to take care of ourselves.”
– Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 197-198

Getting use to peace
“As we develop our lives, set our goals, and find things to do that interest us, peace will become comfortable–more comfortable than chaos.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 192

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Control is an Illusion.
“I’m here to say we can’t control anything. This is why being single doesn’t give us independence, why having personal wealth doesn’t give us protection, why having raised our children doesn’t set us free, or any of the zillion other conclusions our culture draws from the assumption that the key to control is to rely on ourselves first.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 107

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A Gift
“Although not knowing may itself seem like a bad thing, I am convinced it is one of the great gifts of the dark night of the soul. To be immersed in mystery can be very distressing at first, but over time I have found immense relief in it. It takes the pressure off. I no longer have to worry myself to death about what I did right or wrong to cause a good or a bad experience — because there really is no way of knowing. I don’t have to look for spiritual lessons in every trouble that comes along. There have been many spiritual lessons to be sure, but they’ve been given to me in the course of life; I haven’t had to figure out a single one.”
– Gerald G. May, The Dark Night of the Soul, p. 15

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How to Know Peace
“Some things are simple, and here’s one of them: You can either relax and let go of your life, in which case you will know peace. Or you can try to control your life, in which case you will know war.”
– Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 110

Hi Girls,

   Well... I made it to Houston.  It was the longest drive I've ever made!!  Everyone at church yesterday was very friendly so that was comforting.  But... I'm scared... to fail.  I still have not found a job and it is discouraging that nothing is working out.  Mark has been great and very supportive, always pointing to the positive.   Still... I worry.  Tomorrow is a new day, I will be going to talk to the manager at the Starbucks I will  have to work at in the mean time to set up my schedule for the next week or so.  At least there is that.  

I do not know what to expect from the rest of life... (tears)

I love you all no matter what, and I miss you all.

-a

hey em! I was just about to get in bed and I realized you still havent see my dinosaur shirt! Daniel LOVES it! It was only 5 bucks. I knew 2 people in my life would think it was HOT! awww look at the lil' hearts! okay so anyway this was purely so you could see my ummm...t shirt! g'nite:)

Opening Up

So, the other day I was driving and realized....da$%!! I miss Emily even more than I thought I would. I guess I tried not to think of the effect certain loses may be having.I lost (Alex) my "safe haven" best friend (of over 2 years),big brother,protector, and boyfriend-all wound up in one ... in a bad way. Then my closest girlfriend that can bring me joy when no one else can~ moved away... (both occurred within 2 months). I'm gonna wear my heart on my sleeve here..there have been a few times...driving on the freeway...or like right now...that my eyes well up when I think about how much I miss you. You know I was very supportive of your decision despite how I would miss you. I know you're surrounded by excitement and these days you are "livin' it up"...I guess I just fear... that in the midst of the exciting new Chicago life you might forget how great "us" is...we zero out eachothers sadness...we have lived different lives but can still relate...appreciate the artistry of life...how we can sit and talk about God and the unknown... the peace we find when we gaze at the stars, watch the sunset, listen to the waves,when I painted on your arm, when we molded clouds with our hands and you reached up high to set them afloat......and everything is right in the world and even if it isn't... its still okay.

Oh stupid fear...

there are plenty of houses to rent with fireplaces and bookshelves and sunrooms on coventry....waiting for us when you're ready:) xox

Lovely.

Hallo girls! I am sitting at a coffee shop counter that Julia works at, called "Lovely" [I can see her wandering around in kneesocks and a vintage apron, it makes me proud], drinking a mocha and eating an incredible chocolate cupcake and thinking about how much all of you would love this place. I'm glad that the Feast was full of adventures and sparkler friends and sled dogs, I am impressed, and the pictures are wonderful. And I wish so much that I could have been at the Melt, both for the grilled cheese and the company. Amanda, I am so excited about your pending adventure.
What have I been up to? After my last entry, challenging myself to find a female friend, one of the girls at work invited me out for the evening and we've hit it off and have had a few more dates -- its delightful. What else? The short of it: there have been lots of late nights, sunrises over the lake, singing on the street for fun [and some money!] hopscotch, dancing in a hipster club with total strangers, key lime martinis, devouring new books and rereading my favorites, a concert in the breathtaking Chicago Theater downtown, watching baseball games at the divebar 30 seconds away from my door [and falling in love with the boy working there], getting terribly lost everytime I step off of a train, and generally trying to figure out my life. I was given a new name on the street by a psychic ["Theoyla Cassett" -- he said I needed a strong black woman's name to match my spirit and an artist's last name to match my creativity, ahaha]. My new favorite activity is to sit on the steps of a nearby apartment building on my lunch break, eating an apple, and blatently people watch. I always make up stories about the individuals as they pass. I love living in cities. I could never do without the people and the noise.
Oh. And we have a tree in our kitchen. It's a long story.

YEA!!!! It worked!!! (Thanks Karyn!)
PS- Em- your birthday present is en route!!! Enjoy my lovey! Welcome to 25!

Tear.... can you guys come with me????

Ok... I'm going to try to put in a link one more time (why am I blog stupid??)

http://mark.scenemenow.com/ -Alaskan Adventure pics!

Emily with us in spirit.

I will miss you very much. You always have

a special place in my heart.

I will think of you daily and pray for your future blessings.

This is a new beginning! Make it wild and succulent!

I love you! xox-Sarah

Why can't I figure out how to post a hyperlink???

I'm back (for 3 more days)

Hey Ladies,
I miss you guys! You should all have recieved post cards (except Sarah, I didn't actually mail yours cause I don't know your address.) Alaska was beautiful! Put it on your life lists and make sure you get there! We took a small plane from Talkeetna (the town that 'Northern Exposure' was modeled after... scary super small town... aka.. a few cabins and some mountain men) and flew around Denali National Park. Mt. McKinley was breath taking, and that doesn't even begin to describe it. We landed on one of the glaciers and got to get out of the plane and play in the snow. Snow on a glacier is way better that just plain old snow in Cleveland. We also took a 6 hour cruise after the feast into Kenai Fjords National Park and saw Orcas up close!! Even a lone North Am. Humpback whale made an appearance (most of them are well on their migratory way to Maui by now... smart whales!) Anyway, you can see it all in the pics. I made some new friends from Texas, however none as cool as the 3 of you! Jay also made a friend of the female persuasion (but you didn't hear it from me), we'll see what comes of that! Her name is Beth Issacs and you will see her in the pics on Mark's sceneme webpage. I don't know if I have put the link in correctly so let me give it to you again, just in case.... it is http://mark.scenemenow.com (no www)! Ok, that's about it for now. Back to packing. I feel like a real bagabon and boxabon these days!
Love y'all (haha I'm practicing to be a real Texan)!

I made this sign for Eddie and Shannon's car!!

This was my feast friends with the sparklers I passed out in Savannah, Ga...on the river...listening to the man playing "wonderful world" :)

Savannah

Almost home...I just got in from the feast. I am at Eddie and Shannon's apartment in Middletown,Ohio. (near cincy) I wish I was "home" already. But I will stay here tonight and leave tomorrow. Em, did you get my message when I was in Savannah,GA?? About an hour later I found myself on a cobblestone road on the river in Historic Savannah....We saw an older black gentleman playing "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong ....I was in a group of about 10 people...naturally I had my backpack with goodies in it...I took out my multi-colored sparklers and passed them out to my friends-new and old. I danced around...got out my chalk and shared freely...the man sang another song for the newly weds Lena and Lewis...I tried to light 6 sparklers at a time....but they burst into flames....back to passing them out one at a time.......I picked up my chalk and wrote...
Thy Kingdom Come